The Full Force study

Well, this wasn’t my plan for this particular morning, however after I finished breakfast I realised that it was. Over the years I have frequently been commissioned or just been inspired to paint a soul feeling and/or representation. This is one of those. It’s a small study of a larger painting to come. Now I must write about its meaning and this always takes me some time. I do it sitting here looking at the image and remembering what I was thinking and feeling as I painted. Here goes: All through time there have been people of notoriety who identified a reason for being and focused on it, honed it and exercised it. Some can choose to say well it is a luxury to ask such a question as what is my purpose? And if you do not live an existence of luxury? I suppose you can say then that you have good reason not to ask more of yourself. No one would blame you. Yet there are those in history that even while they and those around them were surviving, they asked the question anyway. I’m sure it is one of the reasons we know of them today. And yes, there are such people who have been, and who are current that we have not heard of. We all know or should know somebody who is such a seeker. They chose to become responsible for something greater than themselves or survival. And what of me and you? Do we know who we truly are and therefore know what we truly can become? What exactly are we aiming for? Responsibility can seem like a weight, a restriction, an unwanted harness. So many look for ways to avoid it and make any small task someone else’s error or ownership. In this way they can do nothing and still feel right and perhaps a sense of control. They have a story that says well I would have done something but I couldn’t or it wasn’t mine to do. Some even imagine themselves to be powerful by attempting to prevent others taking responsibility so they are not reminded of their own avoidances. There are so many ways to avoid the hard uncomfortable work. Maybe to avoid facing themselves they rather launch into helping someone else. Now they feel validated and righteous. I think most of us have tried that on. Maybe they just make everyone around them wrong, even if it means allowing distortion of fact or rewriting history entirely- when really they are just being dishonest and hiding behind a job title, someone else’s money, their own money, a substance, a book. Someone who is comfortable with being honest with themselves and asking themselves the most difficult questions will not hesitate to question others. They are not afraid to be wrong. The truth is their needle. Their purpose is their direction. I believe it is through choosing honesty, responsibility, and through looking back and offering a hand to others as we travel that we discover our purpose in the first place. When I ask what is my purpose, what is it that I am asking? Well I am asking me, Jo, what is your reason for existing? We know within ourselves the deep truths. It’s the reason you don’t need to prove that another behaved cruelly or lied or manipulated or deceived. Their every act is a signature upon their soul and their soul is telling them the whole time. Just like it is telling you. So never mind what others know or think or see about ourselves or anybody else. We know who a person is by their actions. You know who you are by your actions. Maybe you think you can’t do the thing because secretly you know you make excuses and procrastinate. So ask the hard questions. What can you do to build a body of evidence that you are somone you can trust and rely on? I ask myself this daily. Honestly I do. Sometimes it’s a drag trying to get the work done. To practice. To make myself focus. Despite injustices, despite my own fatigue or lack of motivation. But I know that I cannot wait to feel like it. I cannot afford to lose focus. I am upon my path and there will be greater challenges ahead. I need to know beyond a doubt that I am somebody I can trust and rely on. I need to choose carefully the people I keep close around me that will take care of who I am in the worst moments just as I will them. And so I look at the great role of actual responsiblity. Not playing the part of ‘the responsible one’ like an actor in a grand play where we throw around thoughts, words and phrases such as I’m so busy, my partner needs to work on themselves they’re not pulling their weight I have to do everything. Look how I do all the things! I can’t get decent staff. Nobody wants to work anymore. I can’t focus on what’s important because I have to do all the things for everyone else. I just always put others first. Oh look their life is easy because they don’t have to do what I have to do. No not that codependant pretend responsibility that gives us an excuse not to self actuate. Actual responsibility where we become present, look back at ourselves and see how we could be better. And then we choose to harness up and launch face forward, full force and be ready for the next omen.

For me horses in symbol represent our vitality. Here in colours we have spirituality in the face and strikers leading the charge followed by reasoning in the colour of the body, and electric power and energy in the colour of the mane. The blinkers for our spiritual focus and destiny. The harness our responsibility.

Hopefully this speaks to some of you and offers some kind of reminder of the greatness waiting within you. I’m not talking try be a billionaire. I’m talking about what it takes just to be someone other people feel better for being around. That animals feel better for being around. What a privilege to be that guy.